Frankly, they need to add another entry to their FAQ:
Why can't I get a damned nickel out of Neteller?
In order to ensure that US members do not have access to any of their money, we have closed off all options which might allow that. We are continuing to feed Americans a line of bullsh*t about withdrawals being "significantly reduced". In actuality, withdrawals have been stopped cold. And we benefit from enormous interest payments on the confiscated funds. We have caused the inconvenience and thank you for your patience and understanding and all of your money. You are screwed, you dumb bastards.
Why can't I get a damned nickel out of Neteller?
In order to ensure that US members do not have access to any of their money, we have closed off all options which might allow that. We are continuing to feed Americans a line of bullsh*t about withdrawals being "significantly reduced". In actuality, withdrawals have been stopped cold. And we benefit from enormous interest payments on the confiscated funds. We have caused the inconvenience and thank you for your patience and understanding and all of your money. You are screwed, you dumb bastards.